Jar Jar Binks

When the creators of this character realised just how fucking terrible it was actually going to be, they rewrote the code for the CGI. They inserted subroutines that actually blocked the character from your memory approximately 20 seconds after the film ended. They hoped that this would discourage people from talking about how awful this animated series piece of shit really was.

As we all know, though, the experiment failed and this character is burned into our brains… never to be removed – except possibly by shock therapy or heroin.

The Frozen Ground Review **Spoilers**

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This movie is based on a true story so it will all ways be up for debate how much is accurate but as a film it works and I enjoyed it, there are some draw backs though. It centres on an investigation led by Jack Halcombe played by Nicolas Cage into missing women sparked by Cindy Paulson (Vanessa Hudgens) as she claims to have been kidnapped and raped by Robert Hansen (John Cusack). At first nobody believes her except Jack Halcombe. Not only does he believe her but he thinks that the missing women and similar reports by other women who were taken (which were ignored by police) are linked. He goes after Robert Hansen with everything he has while also trying to protect Cindy who is a bit of a mess and running away scared a few times (too many in my opinion as I got she was scared the first time she ran). The good – the movie plays out like a thriller slowly at first then as Jack gets more evidence the story moves on quicker. Until the final 15 mins when it becomes a race againt time thriller while he tries to get a confession from Robert or enough evidence to convict him. This plays out very well and keeps you on the edge of your seat as we all know he his guilty we just need the law to see he is. The acting is incredible, Nicolas Cage is amazing I always find that he seems to not turn up acting wise in all his movies but when he does he blows me away. John Cusack is absolutely incredible as the twisted serial killer coming apart at the seems as the movie progresses, probably his best performance I have seen from him. And Vanessa Hudgens is ok, she just seemed like she was all over the place. All though that could be intentional considering the state of mind the character is in. The bad – I’m not sure why but it all seemed very grungy which I think detracts from the film, Also the director does a lot of close ups which are not neccersary espeicially when it just seems pervy. over all I enjoyed it but it could of been better. There is text accross the screen at the end that tells you what happened to the people involved. And pictures of the victims they know about to say it is dedicated to them which I think is a nice touch.

Jurassic Park – 3D ***Spoilers***

Well, I’ve never seen the film in its entirety before… bits here and there, that sort of thing. Not really a dinosaur fan. I have to say, though, that I really enjoyed it. It’s a tiny bit obvious from the opening few minutes of the film that it is all going to go horribly wrong – which kind of ruins it a little bit – but it is executed well and looks absolutely stunning.

The 3D effect is very good – although you can tell in places that it has been added in afterwards – but this doesn’t detract from the film in any way. The scenes where extinct creatures are running about really work well, and even this cynical old reviewer suspended his disbelief in certain parts.

As always with films, it’s the on-screen technology that lets it down and the fact that they were running a “UNIX” operating system that a 12 year old girl could hack into was a bit too far for me.

Anyway, great film, really enjoyed it, if it is on in IMAX 3D near you I really suggest you go and see it.

Pain & Gain Review **Obviously contains spoilers**

This is still a true story…

This statement comes on screen about an hour and a half in to the movie just to remind the viewer, as it is an obsurd film on many levels. This kind of sums up the movie. I liked it but I could see why people would not. It is a true story which means there are real victims in this so it could be hard to watch, but as a black comedy it really works. The fact the the three leads are based on real people is insane!! They are incredibly stupid which is where the comedy comes from. We have Daniel Lugo played by Mark Whalberg who is huge and on top form as the, I use the word mastermind losely. Paul Doyle played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as a coke addict who is VERY religious, who steals the show in my opinion, he plays something he has never done before and he is hilarious in some scenes. The last lead is Adrian Doorball played by Anthony Mackie who  is trying to bulk up by using steroids (which makes something stop working). There are various Michael Bay tropes but used to good effect, the girls the cars etc. All the main characters get to have voice overs to explain thier backrounds as well as certain decisions they make during the movie, which makes the comedy aspects really shine through as it is spoken with hind sight and they still sound absolutely stupid. I cannot explain how funny the comedic parts are the comic timing and the things they say are brilliant. They don’t just glorify it they show the ugly side to which I think is important considering the subject matter. There are several familiar actors in this some are very funny, one being Rebel Wilson who in a certain scene made me cry with laughter. Ed Dubois played by Ed Harris coming in about half way is welcome as the movie is insane and he brings some normalcy to proceedings as he is the only normal person it. The first victim of the these idiots is Victor Kershaw played by Tony Shalhoub, he is very hard to get on with, which is a polite way of putting it. It is hard to feel sorry for him but at the same time it is hard to root for the three leads. So I think you are meant to root for the Ed Harris character who is a private detective and the only one who beleives Victor Kershaw’s story. Overall it is definatly worth a watch as it is very funny in places. The true story aspect may put you off but if you can look past that is a very good little film, that is off the wall bonkers.